DAILY LIFE

The Badass Purple Beard

“That purple beard looks stupid,” said one of my young hockey players.” “Are you kidding?” Her brother replied. “That thing’s badass!” I looked down at the little girl and said, “He’s right,” and turned to her brother and said, “You’re ten. Don’t say, ‘badass’.”   Yeah, I’m a fifty-one-year-old guy with a purple goatee, or as I prefer to refer to it, the Chin Weasel. I’ve had it eight months now and honestly, the only negative comment I received (out…

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My Teenage Drama Queen pt. 1

She was in the GATE class from second grade until we moved to Toronto in sixth grade and on the first day of second grade with a (totally hot) new teacher she popped off with a classic line. The teacher said, “D.Q. can you please take your seat?” My little angel looked up from the book she was reading and replied, “That’s OK. I’m good.” Nice.

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My First Bra

All I know is that most stores have an aisle full of pads and things that I have a general understanding of, but don’t ask me why a maxi pad needs wings because I have no friggin clue! They’re not supposed to fly, are they?

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