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Other than Transformers I honestly can’t tell you what movies Shia LaBeouf has been in.  I love the guy because he tried to bum a smoke from a cop and then “became aggressive towards the officer,” when dude said no.  This guy is the new Robert Downey, Jr.


Sunday morning I awoke without my alarm, ate a red velvet muffin/cupcake (they package them as muffins, but let’s be real people…)  and headed outside for a moment where I realized it was another hella hot So. Cal. day.  It was at that moment that I decided today was my Camp NaNoWriMo catch up day.  I’m a few hundred thousand words back and today is the day to catch up.

But first a quick look at CNN.com.

Thank God I did because it was there that I ran across an article that boosted my self-esteem about twenty points.  Actor and alleged alcoholic Shia LaBeouf was at it again.  This time he was in Georgia making some movie about a bird that apparently likes peanut butter (The Peanut Butter Falcon) and was out on Saturday night, drunk at 4 am.

Take a moment and let that sink in.  “Out on Saturday night, drunk at 4 am.”  Name one story that has started out with those words that have turned out well for the party involved.  I dare you.

On this particular Saturday night, Shia LaBeouf,  the star of Transformers, and countless other flicks I’ve never heard of tried to bum a smoke from a cop.

According to CNN, when the officer refused to give a drunk (alleged) a-hole celebrity who invaded his quiet Georgia town, a cancer stick, LaBeouf did what any stereotypical drunk American would do.  He started dropping profanities and using vulgar language on an officer of the law.

If the story stopped there it would be funny, though not worthy of me writing about it.  

Apparently, when Shia realized that being a derogatory, insulting douche bag wasn’t going to get him that smoke he was apparently jonesin for, LaBeouf decided to get aggressive with the police officer and eventually ran into a nearby hotel where he was (hopefully) gang tackled and arrested, while  he continued to put up a struggle.

Memo to Shia, you probably have more money in your pocket that I have in my bank account.  What’s wrong with being a normal drunk and stumbling to the nearest 7-11 to get a Slurpee, microwave a burrito, get some candy and then a pack of smokes.

If you’re too good to stumble to 7-11, take Uber or better yet, the limo the studio probably sent you in after your previous DUI and public intoxication convictions.  Better yet, send one of your assistants to grab a carton for you.  I’m sure they already pick up various pharmecutical-type products for you.

By the way, I’m sure everyone associated with the picture is extremely proud of you this morning.  You’ve gone on to prove something that I’ve believed for years; it doesn’t matter how much money you have, a douche bag is still a douche bag.

Also, I just remembered that you were in that last Indiana Jones movie.  I’m still waiting for someone to reimburse me for the tickets and the two hours of my life I wasted while watching that sad attempt at a franchise extension.

Speaking of franchise extensions, did Marky Mark invite you to the premier of the latest Transformers movie?  I heard it was pretty decent .

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